Codependency has shown up personally and in the collective numerous times in the last week. Let me call myself out first. It has been a bumpy ride these last few weeks. In my relationship I began to notice a crack in our foundation. My partner and I began our relationship whilst doing deep inner work. Facing our own deep shadows and wounds. The deep work is what really brought us together. I had found my match, someone brave enough to look in his own mirror and not run from the darkness. This was one of our core foundational pieces. Somewhere in these last few months we got sidetracked. We stopped nurturing this foundation. We independently stopped doing our deep work. I pushed him, nudged him, encouraged him and loved him to continue his work. This only created more of a divide between us and resentment on both sides. We stopped holding each other accountable. This lead me to dive deeper into myself. What are my core beliefs? Why was I pushing him so hard and why was he pushing back? What is my absolute unwavering truth? I had to get radically clear about my foundation and where my line in the sand was. In this clarity I saw my codependency poke its ugly head at me. I could see how I was ignoring my foundational truths to pacify our partnership. I was choosing to look the other way to keep our relationship in good standing. (Well not good standing, but safe standing) I didn’t want to rock the boat. I didn’t want to face any sort of reality of us choosing to end our relationship. I could see that I was falling into the trap of attachment. Attachment to safety in the relationship, attachment to him and abandoning myself. Deep gratitude for this lesson and choosing myself and also him choosing his truth. So we continue... to walk beside one another, with a new awareness of our codependent tendencies and the opportunity to transmute this when it shows up again. Codependency :: Abandoning the Soul Phew!! Another way this has shown up this last week has been in a friend’s relationship. Similar concept as above, but my dear sister is holding on for dear life to her partner despite her soul’s deeper calling of truth. The sheer and utter fear of being alone is paralyzing her. The comfort of the dysfunctional relationship is cozier than choosing herself. “He will change, he wants to change, he wants to do better, I can love him to change....” She admittedly is so focused on fixing him rather than her own healing. Her wanting to change him rather than accepting him for who he is in this now moment is only setting them both up for failure and disappointment. She fears being lonely if the relationship ends, but the reality of it is that she is abandoning herself, her truth. Codependency :: Abandoning the Soul In another conversation with a dear sister of mine codependency is showing up in her friendships. She was about to start a business partnership with another woman. The woman did not want to do it alone. The woman wanted a business partner to hold her hand as she didn’t have faith in her own abilities. It showed up for my soul sister the woman was holding a thought pattern that if the business had failed, she could point fingers or take only half the blame. Again abandoning herself and not trusting herself. A lesson for my dear soul sister in seeing how she attracts these codependent types of relationships into her life. Codependency :: Abandoning the Soul There were a few more conversations around codependency that showed up this last week which I won’t go into. Codependency at its core is really the abandonment of the self. Or rather, abandonment of the soul. There really is no such thing as another person abandoning us, there’s only us abandoning ourselves. Codependency is hiding under the mask of abandonment of the soul. Where is codependency playing out in your life? How are you attaching yourself to outcomes? Most importantly why have you abandoned yourself? It’s ok to get sidetracked by shiny objects, but let’s get back to the course. I currently have space available for 1:1 Soul Mentorship, if this feels aligned let’s chat. You’ve got this! Rozlynzelinda.com
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The breath allows us to transcend the physical body. To merge with Source. From this place, we are able to access alternate timelines and re-code our DNA. Between the age of 0-7 we adopt stories based on our surrounding experiences. These stories imprint on our DNA and play out in a cyclical looping fashion. For me personally, I could objectively see these cyclical loops play out in my life. It was so frustrating! For me this showed up in many relationships where my partners showed up emotionally unavailable. Many years of therapy, Spiritual Gurus, emotional work and so on, but I couldn’t find a way to crack the code within myself. Many years ago I remember saying to my therapist, “why do I keep repeating these patterns? How to I break this cycle?”. He had little to say. I knew deep down that the answers were within me, but not a clue as to how to access them. I have been on this path of focused Spiritual Remembrance for nearly 17 years and have finally found a practice that allows me recognize my loops and transmute them. If you find yourself in a loop, I invite you to reach out. |